Standing By Your Sex-Hobbyist -Man; Because It's Your Fault Too?

JIBS and OTHERS - HACKED

Owning a computer used to be a big deal, just like having a color TV was a WOW factor for a family. Now everyone has them. Even keyboard terrorists and loonies of all stripe.

We all know about the "online disinhibition effect." No one can see you or hear you so you can be big and bad behind a keyboard, right? You can imply, smear or hack up someone's hard work and just laugh about it right? In my opinion, WRONG.

Click BagelBlogger and Walking on Fire for their posts already covering the JIB awards site being hacked.

Today I got home after dropping my kids at school and doing some important errands and sat down to take a look at my RSS readers. I saw something I found important I went to blog about it - but discovered that my blog had been hacked.

At first I blamed myself - thought in my stupidity I'd inserted some bad code. But no, there was a black box and then in my template, literally chunks of the code that make up my blog were gone - simply deleted. Thank goodness I back things up!! Then I started to wonder who... but who cares - I needed to get things back on track.

I started blogging about 4 years ago at the prodding of a family member who blogs. I've spent most of my time the last couple years on my anti-abuse site and helping other people get their sites up and going as well as doing advocacy for healthcare and to stop domestic violence - when I wasn't being a mother or dealing with my health.

My therapist spoke to me twice this past February about writing again and said she wanted me to focus on this blog more. Prior to my divorce I really couldn't voice an opinion politically or personally that didn't get me verbally or emotional derided and ripped apart. My other site was for other people so, for me it was safe. My therapist emailed me the link to JBlogs and reading many of the sites there opened up a new world for me. I had been going to political conferences and was involved in lobbying efforts for the disabled but this gave me a whole new avenue of give and take. I needed to take my life back. I dove in and have found it very enjoyable. I am learning a lot.

I don't spend as much time online anymore since a personal incident 3 years ago, being online is sometimes very triggering to my PTSD. I completely dismantled my old computer then and even physically destroyed some of my peripherals in my trauma. My local Computer Crimes Squad was very helpful to me and the information provided ended up being used in a larger probe, helping break cases for them. I got a commendation from them which would have made my Dad proud but made me very sad that people can be exploited - even online.

And I have two stunning children who need my time more than cyberspace does.

This past October, a woman I came in contact with via my domestic violence work decided to lash out at me and my children and got others in on it to post pictures of my children and probable location around as well as cyberstalk me. I filed with Federal Courts and obtained a restraining order and a no contact order. It was stressful, the pictures of my children were all pulled. Then just two months ago, I found out I faced an identity theft situation. More papers have been filed.

You'd think after all that I'd get offline. I did for quite a while but being hampered by my disability and my need & desire to stay close to home base because of my children - so the computer is a huge outlet for me. Harrassing, bullying, hacking or flaming is as bad as beating up someone on the playground in my mind. I really enjoy learning new things, teaching myself code and figuring things out. I like to write, I like to discuss but other than that... I don't put my energy into negativity. My computer literally saved my sanity many times. I believe that garbage in = garbage out. Hashem didn't make me to be garbage.

However, I don't know how nor do I have to time or desire to hack sites. What someone gets out of that I don't know. Whether or not my hacking had anything to do with the JIBs, I don't know. A virtual thrill-killing? Isn't there enough pain and anxiety in the world? Can't we use our computers for good? for information? for healing? Why hack me? I am not a super popular site, why me? oy...

What a world, what a world.

Barbara

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