Forest Obscures Trees - Film at Eleven
Kathy Krajco was one of the best bloggers out there. She wrote with clarity and in a way that everyone can understand. She uses relatable examples and aren't condescending or flippant. I read her blog for about 3 years now, since starting work on my ongoing emotional & psychic recovery and I am never disappointed. She nails it every time.
In this piece of hers I think all of us can see some world figures, our neighbors, our families, people we know and maybe even ourselves - Barbara
MIXED UP PRIORITIES
by Kathy Krajco
Much craziness is due to mixed up priorities.
Narcissists lead the pack in this. They still have the priorities of a three-year-old. In other words, they themselves and what they want are their ONLY priority.
They are the epitome of the "What's-it-to-me?" type. The narcissist says, "What's it to me if you are damaged by how I treat you or your name to make myself feel grand?"
They just don't care. They have one priority - to use everything and everyone in their environment to sort of masturbate their ego. They are so obsessed with this priority that it has put blinders on them. Nothing else matters.
You may not want to admit it, but you mean absolutely nothing to them. They'll pound you with a hammer as thoughtlessly as they'd pound a nail with one.
They don't care about the consequences to you. They don't care about the morality of what they're doing. But that isn't all. They don't care about many other things as well, things they would care about if they had any sense. For example, they don't care about the future consequences. And if, for example, the matter is involved in business dealings, they don't care how bad it is for business.
Stroking their ego is their one and only priority. It's crazy and leads them to do crazy, self-destructive things.
But narcissists aren't the only ones who get mixed up priorities.
Many people make what others think and say about them their top priority. The notorious bystander to abuse is a good example. Nothing else matters to them. They are so obsessed with looking and sounding and seeming good that actually BEING good means nothing to them at all.
So, what do such people do when bashing Jews, blacks, or Americans wins a person approval in their world? Bash away, that's what. That's "good" in their eyes, the "right thing to do." They should turn that Jew in to the Nazis and then move into his vacated home. That's what good little boys and girls do, you know.
Today.
In other words, their mixed up priorities confuse being good with having a good reputation. They, just like the narcissist, don't care about the damage to others. They are just as inhumanly unfeeling about that.
Even in minor matters, mixed up priorities cause a lot of harm. If you play tennis (especially if you ever read The Inner Game of Tennis by Timothy Gallwey) you know about the obsession with "proper form" in this sport. Way too many players care more about how they swing and move their feet than about where the ball goes!
Really. They forget that it's a game and is about the score. To them it becomes a mere exercise in executing forehands and backhands "the right way."
Pure folly. They choose stupid shots and strategies just to make sure they look good out there playing. They undermine their partner for the same reason. The list of such pure vanities is endless.
Since one-in-three tennis shots goes out, this attitude is a real killer in tennis. For, such people think that every error they make was caused by poor form. Wrong. It's usually caused by a slight error in the calculations the brain makes, in placing a foot, in timing the swing, or in tracking the ball. The sport challenges the limits of what the human brain is capable of, so you can never eliminate these errors. The pursuit of perfect form is a wild goose chase, for there is no such thing. They'd do much better to remember that it's just a game and try using smart strategy and tactics to win it, instead.
Mixed up priorities. Perhaps the root of all human folly.
We touched on an example in the post mentioning George Orwell's essays taking on his fellow leftists before and during World War II. He was furious with the left, especially the intelligentsia, for its mixed up priorities.
They had only one priority in Britain (and North America), to promote the ascendancy of socialism over capitalism. It put blinders on them. So, they lost their moral compass as though the end justifies the means and resorted to demonizing their political opponents, condemning EVERYTHING those opponents said and did. Even when it meant sympathizing with a real demon - Adolph Hitler and the Nazi fascists.
You know: "The enemy of my enemy is my friend" ... though he be the Devil himself.
And so we witnessed the bizarre phenomenon of British intellectuals opposing every security measure (claiming that it would be the end of civil rights) and the defense of their own country...just to be against their political oppoents in power and saddled with the responsibility of defending the country.
How utterly reckless. Who did these clowns think the Nazis would have eliminated first? THEM, that's who.
Sheesh, how absolutely reckless. Here were leftist intellectuals condemning and trying to stop the war effort that was FEEDING them at the cost of British sailors' lives.
Enough to make the head spin. But that's how reckless people get when they have but one priority that becomes all important. It blinds them to all but the pursuit of their obsession.
FROM MS. KRAJCO'S WONDERFUL SITE
In this piece of hers I think all of us can see some world figures, our neighbors, our families, people we know and maybe even ourselves - Barbara
MIXED UP PRIORITIES
by Kathy Krajco
Much craziness is due to mixed up priorities.
Narcissists lead the pack in this. They still have the priorities of a three-year-old. In other words, they themselves and what they want are their ONLY priority.
They are the epitome of the "What's-it-to-me?" type. The narcissist says, "What's it to me if you are damaged by how I treat you or your name to make myself feel grand?"
They just don't care. They have one priority - to use everything and everyone in their environment to sort of masturbate their ego. They are so obsessed with this priority that it has put blinders on them. Nothing else matters.
You may not want to admit it, but you mean absolutely nothing to them. They'll pound you with a hammer as thoughtlessly as they'd pound a nail with one.
They don't care about the consequences to you. They don't care about the morality of what they're doing. But that isn't all. They don't care about many other things as well, things they would care about if they had any sense. For example, they don't care about the future consequences. And if, for example, the matter is involved in business dealings, they don't care how bad it is for business.
Stroking their ego is their one and only priority. It's crazy and leads them to do crazy, self-destructive things.
But narcissists aren't the only ones who get mixed up priorities.
Many people make what others think and say about them their top priority. The notorious bystander to abuse is a good example. Nothing else matters to them. They are so obsessed with looking and sounding and seeming good that actually BEING good means nothing to them at all.
So, what do such people do when bashing Jews, blacks, or Americans wins a person approval in their world? Bash away, that's what. That's "good" in their eyes, the "right thing to do." They should turn that Jew in to the Nazis and then move into his vacated home. That's what good little boys and girls do, you know.
Today.
In other words, their mixed up priorities confuse being good with having a good reputation. They, just like the narcissist, don't care about the damage to others. They are just as inhumanly unfeeling about that.
Even in minor matters, mixed up priorities cause a lot of harm. If you play tennis (especially if you ever read The Inner Game of Tennis by Timothy Gallwey) you know about the obsession with "proper form" in this sport. Way too many players care more about how they swing and move their feet than about where the ball goes!
Really. They forget that it's a game and is about the score. To them it becomes a mere exercise in executing forehands and backhands "the right way."
Pure folly. They choose stupid shots and strategies just to make sure they look good out there playing. They undermine their partner for the same reason. The list of such pure vanities is endless.
Since one-in-three tennis shots goes out, this attitude is a real killer in tennis. For, such people think that every error they make was caused by poor form. Wrong. It's usually caused by a slight error in the calculations the brain makes, in placing a foot, in timing the swing, or in tracking the ball. The sport challenges the limits of what the human brain is capable of, so you can never eliminate these errors. The pursuit of perfect form is a wild goose chase, for there is no such thing. They'd do much better to remember that it's just a game and try using smart strategy and tactics to win it, instead.
Mixed up priorities. Perhaps the root of all human folly.
We touched on an example in the post mentioning George Orwell's essays taking on his fellow leftists before and during World War II. He was furious with the left, especially the intelligentsia, for its mixed up priorities.
They had only one priority in Britain (and North America), to promote the ascendancy of socialism over capitalism. It put blinders on them. So, they lost their moral compass as though the end justifies the means and resorted to demonizing their political opponents, condemning EVERYTHING those opponents said and did. Even when it meant sympathizing with a real demon - Adolph Hitler and the Nazi fascists.
You know: "The enemy of my enemy is my friend" ... though he be the Devil himself.
And so we witnessed the bizarre phenomenon of British intellectuals opposing every security measure (claiming that it would be the end of civil rights) and the defense of their own country...just to be against their political oppoents in power and saddled with the responsibility of defending the country.
How utterly reckless. Who did these clowns think the Nazis would have eliminated first? THEM, that's who.
Sheesh, how absolutely reckless. Here were leftist intellectuals condemning and trying to stop the war effort that was FEEDING them at the cost of British sailors' lives.
Enough to make the head spin. But that's how reckless people get when they have but one priority that becomes all important. It blinds them to all but the pursuit of their obsession.
So, you don't have to be crazy to get your priorities mixed up. But if you get them mixed up, you will soon be doing crazy things. I have found that it is important to be really honest with yourself. To consciously ponder your priorities. To ask yourself why you are tempted to do this or that. Then you can see if you motives are vain folly or not and whether they will only bring you further grief. Then you can make sure that what you do always makes sense and acts in the right direction = toward a better life for yourself.If you do this, what other people say and think about you will never become your top priority and control you like a puppet.
FROM MS. KRAJCO'S WONDERFUL SITE
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