Wolfowitz Barricades Self In World Bank Office
by Tom Burka 
In a last ditch effort to hold onto his presidency at the World Bank, Paul Wolfowitz has barricaded himself in his World Bank office, saying that he will go only "when they pry the international checkbook from my cold dead hands."
Wolfowitz had initially considered barricading his girlfriend, Shaha Riza, in his office with him, but because World Bank rules prohibit that, Wolfowitz arranged for Shaha to be barricaded in the office of Lynn Cheney at the Department of State.
Wolfowitz released a statement saying that he had "squatter's rights" and further contended that he had done nothing wrong. He also threatened to hold the economy of Ghana hostage if anyone tried to dislodge him. "One more step and Ghana gets it," he warned.
Soon thereafter, Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez barricaded himself in his office at the Department of Justice along with two filing cabinets filled with emails that have not yet been disclosed to Congress.
Gonzalez denied being "inspired" by Wolfowitz, instead saying that his role model -- until the end of last year, that is -- was Donald Rumsfeld.
(yes, this is SATIRE!)
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