THE HANNITY INSANITY

Even time I watch Hannity & Colmes I feel like I should take a very hot shower and scrub down with sandpaper. Only Bill O'Reilly makes me feel dirtier. Hannity is an assault on my intellect. Colmes is such a milquetoast, I want to find out if he's a eunuch or just missing an internal skeletal system.

For any neocons out there who think Hannity is still sane or even operating on the same planet as the rest of us, read on...

On October 31, 2007, Hannity got into a discussion with Colmes about Halloween. Hannity feels that Halloween is a "liberal holiday."

Sean's reasoning for Halloween being a liberal holiday? Buckle up - this is gonna make you fall right off your chairs and take you keyboards with you!

HANNITY: You know what? I totally agree. I've got two young kids, and I am the food police. And I'm constantly monitoring what they eat.

GERALDO RIVERA (Fox News host): And but for your involvement, wouldn't they eat the worst stuff?

HANNITY: Chicken nuggets, pizza, cake, cupcakes, junk food --

RIVERA: Of course. There's not -- there's not a night where I'm out where they have the choice of what they order out that they ordered something that's bad for them. Always.

HANNITY: By the way, Halloween is a liberal holiday, because we're teaching our children --

COLMES: Oh, come on. Please.

HANNITY: -- to beg for something for free.

[laughter]

RIVERA: Do you notice I wore my costume? I wore my mustache tonight.

HANNITY: Hey, by the way, I heard Mike [Jerrick] on [the Fox-syndicated The Morning Show with Mike & Juliet dressed as you.

COLMES: By the way, I'm going this Halloween as a Republican. I'm taking candy away from people.

[laughter]

[...]

HANNITY: And coming up, things got pretty scary when Rosie O'Donnell made a Halloween appearance on the Martha Stewart show, and I'll tell you why Halloween is really a liberal day, next.
[...]

HANNITY: That is frightening. Rosie O'Donnell making a rare TV appearance on the Martha Stewart show, and she makes a pretty frightening Queen Elizabeth. The interview proved far from interesting. Martha certainly didn't take Rosie to task; it was purely Halloween hoopla. All right, now here --

[sound effect of witch laughing]

COLMES: What's wrong with Halloween hoopla? Are you anti-Halloween?

HANNITY: No. Can I tell you something? Halloween --

COLMES: Yeah.

HANNITY: -- is teaching our kids to be liberals.

COLMES: What are you going as this year?

HANNITY: No, I'm not, uh, Hillary Clinton. Frightening.

COLMES: That's a cheap shot. Come on.

HANNITY: Well, it's the number one -- it's the number one most frightening mask out there. Go look at those new papers out there.

COLMES: You know, you're scared that she's going to be president of the United States.

HANNITY: No, can I tell you something?

COLMES: Yeah.

HANNITY: But I'll tell you why. Because we're teaching kids to knock on other people's doors and ask for a handout. That's how we turn --

COLMES: Is Christmas a liberal holiday, then? When people give things away?

HANNITY: No, but you offer gifts. You give on Christmas. I give gifts on Christmas?

COLMES: Well, what you give on Halloween?

HANNITY: No, you don't give. The kids [knocks on table] -- "Please, can I have some more?"

[sound effect of witch laughing]

COLMES: It's the act of giving around -- that's our producer, laughing. But it's the act of giving. It's a wonderful thing. Isn't that a Christian thing, to give, to share with your community?

HANNITY: Not to teach your kids to beg --

COLMES: It's not begging --

HANNITY: -- for a handout.

COLMES: -- because you do it, too. You do it at their homes.

HANNITY: You're teaching your kids to beg for a handout.

COLMES: So you're anti-Halloween. That is, unfortunately, all the time we have left this evening.

Believe it or not this was actually on T.V. and not a parody in The Onion. Even I don't have a vivid enough imagination for this one!

Sean, are you and Ann Coulter shooting up that neocon-heroin again? That stuff'll kill you!

Gosh, I always thought Halloween was a Neocon, extreme right-wing holiday. A bunch of people dressing up as something they're not? Sounds RIGHT to me.


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Comments

Daniel said…
I'd gladly take Hannity over a fake Jew or an intermarried JINO like Colmes any day.
I find it amusing that you call Hannity a neo-con since "neo-con" is an anti-semitic code word used by some gentiles.
8:31 PM
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