RELATIONAL AGGRESSION - GREAT BLOG FIND!
I just came across a site I truly like. The blogger subscribed to my other site via BlogCatalog. I am nicking one of her posts here, with attribution. Go give her a read!
Don’t let them trivialize you!
by Demian~DreamSinger
I just read a review concerning a book about relational aggression between family members. It states the book was “Chock-full of real-life, victim-oriented stories by complaining women”.
I haven’t read the book yet, but when I do I’ll post my own review. What really pisses me off, before even reading the book is this attitude of trivializing the experiences of women.
“Victim-oriented…complaining women“?
Oh, God, well then let me keep my mouth shut and stop taking up the media resources to talk about my issues and experiences as a woman. Shame on me!
Okay, let’s try this…”Chock-full of real-life victim-oriented stories by complaining Blacks.”
Or how about this?…”Chock-full of real-life victim-oriented stories by complaining Jews.”
Can anyone tell me how is it that women complain, but men object?This is the very sexist attitude that seeks to shame women into silence, that has led to the invisibility of specific forms of suffering that are largely experienced by only women or children. Historically, human rights never included women or children in the equation, and human rights abuses when done to women and girls were often just attributed to cultural differences.
This is no different. Any woman who has suffered betrayal or the debilitating impact of relational aggression, it’s tactics of slander, rumor mongering, gaslighting, mind games, backstabbing, and manipulating of family members to isolate or punish you know it’s not a trivial matter.
And neither are you.
Which is why blogs such as this and the work done by those who are committed to exposing relational aggression and the harm it can do in all its forms and areas in which it shows up are so vitally important.
We have the power and the right to speak our truth. Don’t let anyone make you feel insignificant or stupid or that somehow objecting to abusive treatment or calling it for what it is is complaining or whining. And for God’s sake, don’t let anyone try to put you in your place or shut you up for being a woman.
Don’t kid yourself. That reference to “complaining women” was a double edged sword that used the female gender of the ones “complaining” to further underscore the triviality of the whole thing.
It’s so sad that in the 21st century, we still have archaic minds that just haven’t caught up with the present time.
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