A Narcissist's Error Tactics

HELICOPTER PARENTING + SICK CYBERBULLY = SUICIDE

I originally posted the article by writer, Kathy Krajco, with an blog post this past June. The Megan Meier/ MySpace Suicide case made me think of it again.

I have been following the tsunami of posts on the web and the outcry for justice for Megan Meier, who committed suicide just a little over a year ago due to being harrassed and taunted by an ADULT "friend of the family", Lori Drew and a few others helping Drew.

For the last year Drew has been simply telling the Meier family to "give it a rest." The stress has led the Meiers to divorce and Lori has gone on her merry way, BLAMING MEGAN because "Megan was suicidal anyway." (Lori Drew is in advertising & marketing so we can be fairly sure she's used to embellishing things...)

Lori Drew is, in my opinion, an INTERNET PREDATOR. They come in all shapes and sizes. After targetting, grooming, profiling and then setting up Megan; Lori started a fake MySpace account as Josh Evans - a boy who supposedly liked Megan - all under the guise of finding out what Megan was saying about her child, Sarah. This is called helicopter parenting and this case is its sickest incarnation yet.

Lori Drew has engaged in what every abuser I have come in contact with (even my own) does:

• MINIMIZE THE ABUSE ("give it a rest")
• DEMONIZE THE VICTIM ("Megan was suicidal anyway")
• SMEAR THE INNOCENT - in this case Megan's Parents (Lori & Curt drew filed a property damage suit on the Meier Family when the Meiers ruined their foosball table after finding out Lori was behind their daughter's death. The Meiers have been called to account for Megan's death - truly twisted.)
• and PLAY THE VICTIM (Lori Drew is now being harrassed by the town and the internet for what she did. I don't agree with harrassment of the person or their families at all. However, Lori refuses to take accountability and responsibility.)

Lori Drew hasn't even come CLOSE to apologizing to the Meier Family. Lori, are you really that devoid of compassion? Are you truly that sick in the head?

As a mother I am outraged and disgusted at this vile, putrid excuse for a human being. To treat another person like that, one she KNEW was vulnerable AND ONLY 13 YEARS OLD. And, another sick blog has appeared villanizing Megan as a "bitch" who "had it coming."

I pray everyone of you takes some time to read these articles and take action. Sign the petition, write your lawmakers for stiffer laws against people who use and abuse people via the net and make the internet the safe and powerful tool for good it should be.

DEATH THREATS FOR LORI DREW

A PARENTS WORST NIGHTMARE

MEGAN MEIER MEMORIAL MYSPACE

from Kathy Krajco's masterful blog:

A Narcissist's Error Tactics

The aim of Error Tactics, then, is to demoralize us.

First, don't allow a narcissist to relate to you as your judge. You can confront any attempt to do so. But you don't have to. You can just non-respond to it. In other words, act as though the narcissist didn't say the judgemental thing they just said. Change the subject. Walk out of the room. You are taking away their mirror. Then they can't see the image they're projecting in it. That is very unsettling to a narcissist. Really. Since they identify with that mirage, by making it disappear you give them an existential problem!

There is probably nothing meaner you can do to a narcissist than just act like he ain't there. I think it's the most potent negative reinforcement you can deliver. He will quickly learn that he gets it for trying to relate to you as your judge.

Second, remember your poise. It's all a game people play. Mind games. Which means it's nothing, because it's all in the head. So, just keep your poise.

In fact, there is some of this going on in the holier-than-thous who blame the victim and say your feelings are a sin, those who find a sin in everything you could do to protect yourself from abuse, those who say it would be a sin to divorce the narcissist or to strike back in any way.

Why do they bestow their judgments on YOU and why are they so "understanding" about the ABUSER's conduct and feelings?

Because they can't make amoral HIM feel like he has done anything wrong. So, they pick on good people (= the victim) instead. They like being able to control you by passing judgment on your thoughts, words, deeds, and even feelings.

It's a power play. A self-righteous power play.